If You Having Girl Problems, I Feel Bad For You Son

Just a small sampling of what I'm dealing with.


Caili is a fantastic roommate. Honestly, living together has been really harmonious. But until six months ago when we got married, I’d never lived with a girl before. Here’s what I’ve learned in my short journey in the land of female roommates. These are really just based on one girl–Caili–but haven’t we learned that when it comes to gender/ race/ sexual orientation, it’s better to just generalize about people?

They’re really concerned with smells.
Caili has one scent for her bath products and another for her perfume. One for a room spray and another for candles that she lights when guests come over. She wants to make sure that every time she smells a smell, it’s a good one. But it doesn’t stop there–she also has a thing about demanding we close our bedroom door every time we cook meat in the adjoining kitchen. Apparently she doesn’t want our bedding and all of her clothes to smell like cheeseburgers. And all this time, I thought that smell was an aphrodisiac.

They watch what you eat.

Not what they eat, necessarily–but the food choices you’re making. My Dad always says that if he lived alone, he wouldn’t make it another five years, since there’d be no one to stop him from eating whatever he wanted all the time. On this I agree. Often when I’m standing at the pantry, Caili’s mouth says “I love you” but her eyes say “Do you really need to polish off that whole bag of gummi bears while we’re cooking dinner?”

They have SO many toiletries.

I’m no caveman or anything–I like my hair gel and nice shaving cream–but I can’t believe how many bathroom items Caili has. Our cabinet is overrun with lotions, creams, gels, ointments and salves of all kinds. I have no idea what most of them are for, but as long as she does I guess we’re okay.

They’re sensitive about TV shows and movies.

This might be specific to Caili, who is also the world’s harshest movie critic, but girl roommates really would prefer you don’t watch violent shows. Caili made it through about 5 minutes of a Boardwalk Empire episode with me before someone got shot in the head. Her immediate response: “Why would anyone watch this??” Other girls may not be as sensitive about this, though–after all, Caili is on record as saying she doesn’t like any movies with “guns, explosions or surprises.”




6 thoughts on “If You Having Girl Problems, I Feel Bad For You Son

  1. Holly says:

    Yes Neil. It is true. Sounds like you are coming around nicely!

  2. nplusc says:

    @Dad – SERIOUSLY! I need to write a whole post about that one….Neil acts like he’s the only one dealing with annoyances. 🙂

  3. Guy says:

    Hey Neil does Caili know you moved her stuff to take that picture. I just hope you put everything back where she had it. Nothing irritates me more than when someone moves my stuff from where I keep it.

  4. Saushan says:

    Pretty accurate!! The # of toiletries I own is unreal. I often carry a bowl of fruit to Craig and say, “eat this”. And he hears me say “I don’t know how you can watch this show” on a regular basis!

  5. Guy says:

    I feel your pain Neil. Really, I actually do feel your pain.

  6. Shea says:

    I smiled the whole way through this post. Amazing summary of what it’s like living with a girl – or as you said it – maybe just caili.

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